My husband died on Good Friday
The neuro-oncologist said he would die, the palliative care team said he would die, then the hospice team said he would die. Soon.
But no matter how prepared we think we are, we aren’t.
This was not the first time we had to address mortality. Six years ago Randy had a lung transplant that saved his life. But 5 years after the transplant he had a seizure that led to a diagnosis of inoperable, incurable brain cancer. So we knew, because the neuro-oncologist told us, that he didn’t have long to live. Many tests and scans, radiology, chemotherapy, but the tumor grew and another tumor appeared and finally, the cancer spread to his spinal column. And suddenly life expectancy was 1-3 months and he was in palliative care mode. So I KNEW he was dying quickly. But despite the passing weeks and months, I sometimes can’t believe it. I mean, how could he just DIE? How could he be GONE?
      
      Frame it
      
      First thing in the morning
      
      So what
It just keeps raining
      
      A word about grief groups
      
      I know you
      
      The mail…always a surprise
      
      Three best days
      
      Sometimes what is
I can’t seem to accept
      
      Change one thing
Cancer is no joke
More on Christmas
      
      And so this is Christmas
Downtown Alameda
      
      The best find and the worst
This is the kind of thing he did in his spare time.
      
      It’s starting again
She gets them when I’m finished.
      
      Another first
The holiday card I sent this year
      
      Nice guy with a good heart
The reservoir
      
      Symbols and metaphors
This is his ring -he would be so bummed that I didn’t dust the table before I took the photo.